Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
