I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
