No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
