he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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