I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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