so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
