you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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