Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.