I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
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He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE