i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.