i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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