we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
