He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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