fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
