I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
