dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize