What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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