I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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