i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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