actually, I'm a sock model
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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