I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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