whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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