Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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