so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
