i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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