I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
