Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
