that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
