Tell her she can't have a vagina
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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