we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
