All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My ass is underappreciated
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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