Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
