just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
