i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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