Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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