Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
