Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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