I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize