you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
