At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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