i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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