Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
