She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
