Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize