You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
