Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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