I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My vagina is officially offended.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I need a beard to bite.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.