Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.