He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here