Screwed.edu
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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