Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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