nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
