u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
