So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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