Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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