we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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