Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
