Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
