theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
